They call it falling for a reason
by thegirl20
Summary: Following 'Tears', Kahlan takes Cara by surprise in an inn.


Good news travelled fast, it seemed. By the time the tired, but victorious foursome had made their way from the Pillars of Creation to the nearest village, the celebrations were in full swing. Richard was hoisted onto the shoulders of the two tallest villagers and paraded around for all to see and cheer on. He bore the attention well, grasping arms and kissing babies. Cara found the whole thing tiresome. It had been a _very_ long day and all she wanted was a meal, a bath and bed. She'd had a gnawing in her chest since they'd left the Pillars; one she couldn't put a name to. Or didn't care to.

She snuck a look at her companions. Both Zedd and Kahlan were watching the proceedings, proud smiles in place, though their weariness shone through. Zedd was leaning heavily on branch he'd picked up to use as a walking cane, and Kahlan's eyes were almost drooping. Cara grabbed the nearest villager by his collar. He grinned at her and she resisted the urge to snarl at him.

"Where can we get a meal and board for the night?" she asked.

"I would think anyone in this town would offer you as much today!" he gushed, though his enthusiasm faded a little under Cara's withering gaze. "Ther…there's a tavern just a little further along the road." He pointed in the direction he was talking about.

Cara nodded once and released her grip on the man's shift, allowing him to hurry away and lose himself in the crowd. Cara turned.

"I'll go and get rooms," she said, curtly, already turning to leave. She was stopped short by a hand on her elbow, she turned back to look at Kahlan curiously.

"I'll come with you." Kahlan _sounded_ even more tired than she looked. Cara supposed that the prolonged Con Dar must have been very draining. "Zedd?"

The Wizard shook his head, his eyes never leaving his grandson.

"You two go on," he said, shifting his weight on the stick. "I'll follow with boy wonder when his adoring masses can bear to part with him. But make sure to order up a fine supper…we all deserve to eat well this evening."

Kahlan gave him a quick nod before starting to walk, clearly as eager as Cara to get to the tavern. It was only when they had been walking for a moment or two that Cara noticed that Kahlan was still holding onto her arm.

-

Their reception at the tavern was much the same as the one Richard was receiving. Cara was dangerously close to agieling someone, but it was Kahlan who firmly, but not unkindly, requested that they please just be given their rooms. The tavern-keeper nodded and handed over two keys. Cara looked down at them and back up.

"We need three rooms," she said.

"I…I only have two…we are a small village and we don't get many coming through needing lodgings," the tavern-keeper said, his smile faltering for the first time.

"Two is fine," Kahlan assured him with a nod.

"It is _not_ fine!" Cara protested. "I am _not_ sharing with the Wizard. His snores could wake the dead and tonight I _will_ kill him for it."

"There's no need for you to kill Zedd. You're sharing with me, as usual," Kahlan told her with a small smile. She pushed one of the keys back toward the now terrified looking tavern owner. "When the Seeker and the Wizard make their way here, give them this. And would it be possible for you to draw a bath in our room before supper?"

The owner nodded mutely. Cara was confused.

"But…you heard what Zedd said," she argued, her eyebrows knitting together and her forehead wrinkling. "You and Richard are free to ha-"

"Cara!" Kahlan almost shouted, placing a hand at Cara's back and ushering her to the stairs.

Cara huffed at being handled in such a manner, but was too tired to put up much resistance, and too confused to really care. She had assumed that Richard and Kahlan, having discovered that their love was too strong for even confession to penetrate, would be jumping into bed with each other at the earliest convenience. Certainly, when Kahlan had been split in two, both versions of her had been quick enough to take lovers that Cara had assumed she must live in a constant state of sexual frustration.

Having reached their room, Cara was roughly shoved inside with Kahlan following and closing the door. She was looking at Cara with a strange expression. It bordered on disapproval, but there was almost some amusement mixed in there too. Cara sighed.

"What?"

"Do you think that was an appropriate place to be discussing such things?"

Cara flopped down on the bed, face first, her bones singing in relief. "No, Mother Confessor," she said, her voice muffled by the pillows. "I apologise for discussing your imminent deflowering in front of the common folk. It won't happen again."

She heard Kahlan laugh and picked up her head enough to see the other woman. Kahlan was leaning against the door, smiling over at her.

"Oh Cara," she said, happily. "Don't ever change."

Cara couldn't begin to fathom what was going on in Kahlan's head, and she didn't have time to try because a sharp knock came through the door. Kahlan turned to answer it.

"Your bath, Mother Confessor."

Kahlan stood back to allow a procession of people traipsed into the room, the first two carrying a large metal tub, the rest carrying the water to fill it. (Cara surmised that half the village had volunteered to carry water just to get a look at the Mother Confessor). Once it was finally full and Kahlan had locked the door, Cara turned onto her back.

"You can go first," she said. "You've had a hard day."

Plus, Cara was too tired to undo her leathers quickly, and she was never opposed to getting a good view of Kahlan bathing. Kahlan raised a questioning eyebrow.

"And your day has been any better?" she asked, her hands already working at the front of her corset.

Cara shrugged. "I didn't get confessed and kill my one true love."

Kahlan's eyes flicked to meet Cara's, pinning her to the bed. Cara wished she could take the words back. At first she had thought she'd upset Kahlan by bringing up the events of the day. But Kahlan's gaze wasn't accusatory or hurt; it was something else entirely. Cara held her eyes, never one to back down. Kahlan's face softened into a smile.

"No. No, you didn't," she said, her voice tight, like she was holding something back. Cara shifted uncomfortably. Kahlan came to sit on the bed, by Cara's hip.

"We can bathe together," Kahlan almost whispered, holding her now loose corset around her chest. "That way we both get to enjoy the hot water."

A protest formed in Cara's mind, but didn't make it to her tongue as Kahlan reached forward and urged her to sit with a gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned Cara around and started unlacing her leathers, having done so many times before. Before long, Cara was slipping out of her second skin as Kahlan stepped into the tub, hissing slightly at the temperature before sinking down until the water covered her shoulders. Cara took a moment to look at her; eyes closed, hair floating in the water around her. She looked more at peace than Cara could ever remember.

Blue eyes opened and Kahlan smiled up at her. She flicked a little water and Cara jumped as it hit her abdomen.

"Get in before you freeze to death," Kahlan teased.

Generally Cara would dunk Kahlan's head under the water for such an action, but not today. She merely obeyed, stepping into the water and settling at the opposite end of the tub from Kahlan. Their legs bumped and slid against each other under the water until they found a position that worked. Cara let out a contented sigh, letting the warmth flood her aching limbs. They lay together in silence for long moments. The water shifted and Cara cracked open an eye to see Kahlan sitting up and reaching for a washcloth.

"Turn around, I'll wash your back."

Cara frowned, but did as she was told. Carefully, she manoeuvred around until she was seated between Kahlan's legs. Sometimes Cara was thankful for her years of Mord'Sith discipline that allowed her _not_ to react when placed in positions such as these. The washcloth swiped down her neck and across her shoulder. Cara closed her eyes and let her head droop forward, giving Kahlan the freedom to do as she wished. She enjoyed the attentions for several moments, before the cloth stilled against her skin. She waited; she could _feel_ Kahlan's need to speak.

"Zedd told me."

Cara felt her heartrate increase, and cursed herself.

"Told you what?"

She had no idea why she'd asked. She knew exactly what Kahlan was referring to. The Mord'Sith in her sneered at the lack of courage.

"He...he told me you couldn't do it," Kahlan said, her voice faltering. "You needed to kill me and you couldn't do it."

Cara sighed. "The Wizard's tongue is far too loose."

She had no chance to think of inventive ways in which to inflict pain on Zedd, because Kahlan's lips were pressed against the back of her neck. Cara froze.

"Kahlan...what are you..." her voice trailed off as Kahlan dragged her lower lip over her shoulder, moving closer to Cara's body, her hands finding Cara's hips beneath the water. Cara whimpered, biting her lip a second too late to keep it in.

"I know why you couldn't do it, Cara," Kahlan whispered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "It's okay, I know."

She continued to press kisses to Cara's warm, wet skin, rendering the Mord'Sith powerless to do anything but draw her hands up Kahlan's legs, pulling her in tighter. This time Kahlan was the one to whimper. It brought a little of Cara's sense back. Abruptly, she got to her knees and turned around, facing Kahlan with an incredulous expression.

"I don't know if you misunderstood what happened today," Cara began, very aware how quickly she was breathing. "But you can be with _Richard_ now."

Kahlan also got to her knees, her eyes almost as dark as when she was confessing someone. The thought made an unexpected frisson of excitement run right through Cara.

"No, maybe _you_ misunderstood," Kahlan said, speaking slowly and deliberately. "Today I found out that I could be with someone if they already love me. And you love me."

Kahlan's words were so matter-of-fact, that Cara had to repeat them to herself in her head before realising what she had said. When she finally did, she reeled back, falling onto her ass in the tub, causing the water to wash over the sides. This seemed to amuse Kahlan greatly. She even had the audacity to laugh.

"I...that's ridiculous!" Cara sputtered. "You're in love with Richard and I serve him and I am definitely not in love with you."

Cara folded her arms over her chest. Kahlan rolled her eyes and started crawling closer to Cara, who had nowhere to go.

"Yes, you are," Kahlan said, with absolute certainty. "As I am with you."

Cara almost choked. She put her hands on Kahlan's shoulders to halt her progress, regretting it when the sensation of skin on skin threatened to overwhelm her.

"Okay, you need to...slow down or..." Cara shook her head. "This can't be. You are destined for Richard."

"Cara Mason just asked me to slow down," Kahlan murmured, her voice rich with humour. "This is a far cry from someone who was talking about my imminent deflowering just an hour ago."

"Kahlan!" Cara snapped. "You must be...ill. Or spelled." Thoughts of the time Kahlan had been split in two filled Cara's mind. She was acting a little too much like that irrational, overly emotional version of herself.

Kahlan tilted her head, her smile turning serious. "You're right, we should slow down," she said with a nod. "We should talk."

Cara let out a breath. "Now _that's_ the Kahlan Amnell I know."

-

Cara slipped the sleeping shift over her head and swallowed hard. Kahlan was already dried and dressed and sitting by the fire in their room. They'd spoken little since getting out of the bath and Cara could tell that Kahlan was getting antsy. She was unable to put it off any longer. She headed over and took the other chair, sitting opposite Kahlan, waiting for her to speak. She didn't have to wait long.

"I've known that I loved you for a long time. But I knew that I was _in_ love with you when you learned to speak the language of the night wisps," Kahlan said, fixing Cara with a soft smile.

Cara had no idea what to say. Kahlan didn't seem to expect an answer.

"I had suspected before..." she said, turning her gaze to the fire. "But I knew that day that I was more in love with you than I'd ever been with Richard. You were so…"

She trailed off when she noticed Cara shifting uncomfortably.

"And, since you didn't ask," she teased with a grin. "I've known that you loved me since you tried to kill yourself in that tomb. It was strangely romantic."

"Why didn't you..." Cara couldn't complete the question. It was unfair of her to ask it of Kahlan when she could be asking the same of herself. Why hadn't either of them said anything? Kahlan shrugged with a sad smile.

"I didn't want to condemn you to a life of ...well, a life like mine," she admitted. "And there was Richard."

"There still _is_ Richard," Cara pointed out.

"Richard and I have spoken," Kahlan said, softly. "We both agree that our love is...comfortable. It's real and it's strong...but it's not passionate. Not anymore."

"No?" Cara raised an eyebrow. "It looked pretty passionate from where I was standing today at the Pillars."

Kahlan looked down. "That was...we had just saved the world...and I had just heard that I could actually be with someone without taking their freewill…or their _life_," she looked Cara in the eye. "And it wouldn't have been right for me to grab you and declare my undying love for you at that moment. It would have been impolite."

Cara barked a laugh. "Oh, so you kiss people so as not to seem impolite?" she mocked. "I'll keep that in mind."

Kahlan stood and wrapped her arms around herself, turning away.

"I just told you that I love you and that I want to be with you and _this_ is what you choose to focus on?" Her voice was that awful scratchy way that it got before she started crying. Cara _hated_ that voice. She sighed and tried to think of what she could say that might make Kahlan stop using that voice. She stood and looked at Kahlan's back for a moment.

"Kahlan…I…I can't use words as well as you can…I don't know how to say things that will bring your comfort or make you happy. But I couldn't kill you today because I was afraid I couldn't bring you back," Cara said, simply. An admission of fear of _anything_ was not something Cara shared lightly. Kahlan didn't turn, but she had stopped moving. Cara decided that as she had already exposed herself, she might as well go a little further. "And I didn't want to live in a world without you in it."

The smile on Kahlan's face when she turned around made Cara's insides ache with longing and emotion. Everything seemed to constrict, as it had when she'd pulled that bow string back. Every instinct that had been beaten into her over a lifetime screamed for her to retreat from this, to dampen it down. But she fought to keep eye contact with Kahlan as she approached. Kahlan's hands went to her face, cupping her cheeks briefly before sliding down her neck, the gesture no longer a holding a threat. Her arms wrapped around Cara as she moved in and pressed her lips against Cara's.

Cara's eyes drifted closed as Kahlan's mouth moved over her own, laying claim to her. Her hands went to Kahlan's waist, holding her as carefully as she'd held anything in her life, terrified to push too hard in case the spell was broken. Kahlan had no such qualms and, before long, her tongue was seeking entrance to Cara's mouth. Cara granted her wish, thinking somewhere at the back of her mind that she would probably be unable to deny Kahlan anything she wanted. Kahlan drew out of the kiss, dropping smaller, shorter kisses on Cara's lips, reluctant to move away. Cara licked Kahlan's upper lip, tracing the scar there with her tongue, revelling in the shiver that ran through Kahlan's body. She pulled back to look into Kahlan's eyes. Kahlan smiled and traced Cara's jaw with her thumb.

"You're better with words than you give yourself credit for," she said. "And you're very good without them too."

Cara allowed herself a small smile at that, and at the blush that accompanied it, spreading down Kahlan's neck and across her chest. Cara's smile faded and she softly placed a hand on Kahlan's chest, resting just above her heart. The steady beat reassuring and calming her. She kept her eyes fixed on her thumb as it stroked the impossibly smooth skin.

"I pictured my arrow piercing your heart today," she whispered. "And I felt it as surely as if it had pierced my own."

Kahlan's hand came to cover her own, pressing it more firmly against her chest. Cara risked a glance up into her eyes and found them to be brimming with tears.

"It's still beating," Kahlan said, her voice thick. Cara smiled.

"As long as the Mother Confessor's pure heart beats…" she murmured.

"I plan to keep it beating for a long while yet," Kahlan said. "Though the purity of it might not last so long…"

Cara shook her head. "Kahlan, anyone would think you're trying to seduce me."

"I'm trying really _hard_!" Kahlan said with a pout that barely concealed a smile.

Cara reached up to brush away a tear that was caught in Kahlan's eyelashes. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to Kahlan's nose, her cheek, her eyelid. The fact that she was _allowed_ to do this now was astounding. This woman, this_perfect_ woman, wanted to be with Cara. It was almost enough to…

"You're crying."

"I am not!" Cara huffed, hurriedly rubbing a sleeve over her eyes.

"Okay…then your eyes are leaking and we should probably see someone about that," Kahlan said, with a smile.

She moved Cara's arm away and used both of her thumbs to rub the tears from Cara's cheeks. She moved to rest her forehead against Cara's. "Never be ashamed to cry in front of me, Cara," she whispered. "It only makes me love you more."

Cara closed her eyes, holding back another onslaught of stinging tears.

"Only _you_ would regard crying as an attractive quality," she said, trying to get herself under control. "Kahlan…I…I know I haven't said it, but I do…I mean…"

"You don't have to say it," Kahlan said, shaking her head. "I know. You've shown me."

"I _want_ to say it," Cara said, almost pleading with Kahlan to believe her. "It might …it might just take some time."

Kahlan broke into the most beautiful smile Cara had ever seen. "We have all the time in the world," she whispered. "And if you never say it, it won't matter to me. I'll still know."

"I _will_ say it," Cara said, looking earnestly into Kahlan's eyes. "I promise."

Kahlan nodded, her own eyes wet with tears again. She leaned in a pressed her lips firmly against Cara's. They parted when a loud knocking sound broke into their private little world.

"Are you coming down to supper?" It was Richard.

Kahlan smiled at Cara and rolled her eyes a little. "Should we join them for a meal?"

Cara thought of the raucous reception that was bound to await them downstairs, she really didn't feel like facing a crowd of adoring villagers.

"If you wish," she said, and hoped that she hadn't grimaced.

Kahlan looked at her for a moment, searching her face, then she shook her head ever so slightly, smiling. She turned in the direction of the door.

"Can you have them send something up for us?" she called. "We're not dressed."

"Oh…okay," came the reply.

"We've been bathing, Richard," Kahlan yelled affectionately.

"Sure. Bathing. I'll bet," he answered. Cara was surprised at the teasing tone his voice held.

"Lord Rahl," she drawled. "Unless you wish be known as Lady Rahl from this day forth, you'll do as she says."

"Okay Cara," Richard said, chuckling. "Have fun!"

Cara turned to Kahlan with a questioning quirk of her eyebrow. "Kahlan, when you and Richard 'talked'…did you happen to mention my name?"

"We…he…" Kahlan fumbled around, her eyes evasive. "Maybe you came up. I can't remember."

Cara laughed at that, long and loud. She stopped only when Kahlan nudged her, scowling. Cara shook her head in wonder.

"How is it that you can be so skilled at seeing through lies and deception, practically seeing into people's souls…and yet completely unable to lie yourself?"

Kahlan shrugged. "I've never been good at it," she admitted. "I've never seen the benefit in deceiving people."

Cara's breath caught. They were _so_ different. So wildly different, that she didn't see how this could work. Her eyes dipped, but a strong hand on her chin brought her focus back up to meet shining blue eyes.

"You're not so great at lying yourself," Kahlan told her. She saw that Cara was about to protest and pre-empted it. "Oh yes, you can play a part when it's required for a plan or elaborate ruse…but when you think you're being guarded, closed off, you're not. I'm sorry to tell you this, Cara, but I've seen every emotion play out across that pretty face of yours. You're not as stoic as you'd like to believe. I _see_ you."

Cara felt herself crumbling and she didn't know how to stop it. "How can you love me, then?" she whispered. "If you can see me, see what I am…how can you love that?"

Tears were running freely down both of their faces as Kahlan's hand slipped to the back of Cara's neck, bringing her in for a bruising kiss that tasted of salt and questions.

"Oh Cara," Kahlan mumbled against her mouth. "If only you could see what I see when I look at you. If only you could see the woman who's overcome a lifetime of being told that torture and punishment and pain were the only ways to achieve anything, to become the strong-willed, brave, loyal person that you are. The person who's fought by my side and put herself in danger to save me more times than I could ever know. The person who told me that seeing the birth of baby night wisps was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. The person who wanted to kill herself to make sure I survived. The person who couldn't kill me just in case she couldn't bring me back."

Cara listened to the words tumbling so easily from Kahlan's mouth, so close that her lips brushed Cara's skin as they moved as if Kahlan were trying to force them into her head, to make her believe them.

"I want to be that person," she whispered, her breath mingling with Kahlan's. "I want you to keep seeing me that way."

She didn't want to ever disappoint Kahlan.

"I will," Kahlan vowed. "And maybe one day you'll see it too."

Cara nodded, laughing a little. "Right now all I can see is someone who's sniffling like a schoolgirl," she said, rubbing at her face.

Kahlan caught her hand and held it in her own, pulling it away from her face. She kissed the very tip of Cara's nose. "As I told you, it only makes me love you more."

Cara sighed, her breath shaky from the sobs still threatening to erupt from her chest. She looked into Kahlan's eyes and bit her lip.

"You say you can read me, but I have lied to you before," she said, her voice quiet.

Kahlan nodded, smiling softly. "It's okay. It's in the past. It doesn't matter."

But Cara had something to say and she was going to say it.

"When I said the birth of the night wisps was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, I was lying," she said, forcing her lips into the shapes of the words she had to get out. "_You_ are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

She was blushing furiously by the last word. Kahlan's hand flew to cover her mouth, a cry escaping her lips, her eyes already spilling over with tears. She pulled Cara to her and kissed her with a fierce passion, leaving both of them breathing heavily when they parted.

"Don't ever pretend that you're not good with words again," Kahlan panted as Cara caught tears with her lips as they rolled down her cheeks.

"Yes, Mother Confessor," Cara agreed, her smirk making a reappearance. "Now, are we to spend the evening weeping into each other's shoulders, or did you have something else in mind for us to do?"

Kahlan grinned, tilting her head to the side as she looked at Cara.

"I had some thoughts on the matter, yes," she said, casually, then her smile faltered. "But…I…I don't know a great deal about…such things, so my thoughts may not be…practical."

"Kahlan," Cara began, smiling at the change in the confessor's demeanour. "Just thinking about you thinking of things to do sets me on fire. And I've yet to come across something that was impractical when it comes to…" Cara would normally have said 'fucking', but that didn't really fit. "…that kind of thing."

Kahlan sighed. "You're so…experienced," she said, worry creeping into her voice. "I'm going to bore you, I'm sure of it."

Cara frowned. "Kahlan, I'm…I'm experienced _there_," she said, indicating the large bed with her eyes and watching Kahlan blush even deeper. She picked up Kahlan's hand and placed it on her chest, mirroring her earlier actions. "But I'm not experienced _here_."

Kahlan looked at her with a soft smile. "Then perhaps we can help each other out?" she suggested.

Cara nodded. "I think that's fair," she agreed. Her eyes were once again drawn to the bed. "And we don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with tonight. I'll wait for you to be ready."

A laugh bubbled up from Kahlan's chest and she buried her face in Cara's shoulder, hugging her tightly. She picked her head back up and put a hand on Cara's cheek.

"You know, I'm beginning to wonder if all these rumours I've heard about the Mord'Sith are greatly exaggerated," she said, her tone light.

"Yes," Cara said, hiding a smile. "We just project the image of fearsome warriors, but really we're all friendly and cuddly."

"You're pretty cuddly," Kahlan agreed, squeezing Cara for emphasis, eliciting an eye-roll.

"Whatever you say," Cara said with a sigh. "But I'm serious, if all you want to do tonight is this, that's acceptable."

Kahlan nodded. "Thank you," she said, and meant it. "But why don't we just see how things go? I…may be a little nervous at first…with my magic. Zedd's not exactly renowned for getting things right."

"True," Cara agreed. "We can be careful."

"Yes, very careful," Kahlan said, nodding vehemently. "I don't want the first time we make love to result in me killing you."

Cara's eyebrows drew together. She'd heard it referred to in those terms before, of course, but it wasn't ever something she'd had applied to her. But she supposed she'd better get used to such flowery language. She shrugged, the side of her mouth turning up.

"At least I'd die happy," she said, earning a dig in the ribs and a disapproving look from Kahlan.

Another knock interrupted them.

"Your food, Mother Confessor," came a voice from the other side of the door.

"Leave it there," Kahlan answered, looking into Cara's eyes as she spoke. "We'll fetch it in ourselves. And thank you."

"As you wish." The sound of a tray being placed on the floor was followed by footsteps heading away.

Kahlan looked down at their position, standing in each others' arms as they had been for what seemed like forever. She smiled.

"I don't want to let you go," she whispered, blushing.

Cara smiled back. "What if I promise to let you cuddle me more after we've eaten. Will that help?" she asked, surprised to find that she would also miss the contact.

Kahlan pretended to think about it. "Yes, I suppose so," she said, sighing deeply. "But I think you probably should kiss me before I'm forced to part with you."

"If I must," Cara said, already leaning in.

"You must," Kahlan murmured when their lips were nearly touching.

"Command me, confessor," Cara whispered and claimed Kahlan's lips.

-

As it turned out, the food was cold by the time they managed to drag themselves apart for long enough to collect it. Neither of them noticed. And Cara _did_ let Kahlan cuddle her some more after they'd eaten. And they even managed to test the practicalities of some of Kahlan's thoughts before the night was out.


End file.
